I woke up Wednesday, after an emotionally draining day, feeling pretty good, tired but good. I went through my morning routine, while Brooke slept, and decided to take a shower. Let me explain something really quickly. We had originally checked into a hotel designed for people planning longer stays. It was WAY cheaper then if we were to stay at a normal hotel, which meant it wasn’t the nicest place in the world. The room wasn’t awful, but it wasn’t great either. And after staying in the room most of the day Tuesday I was getting a little annoyed with it, and even hating the thought of bringing my daughter into a dingy hotel room for her first nights with us.

So back to the shower scene… I was washing my hair when I happened to look up and notice something terrifying over my head. The ceiling of the bathroom was covered in black mold. “That’s it,” I said loudly, “We are out of here!” I finished showering woke Brooke up and told her to get ready, we are not staying in this room one more second. With Brooke’s liver transplant and my new infant daughter to worry about I have become super over protective man, someone should get me a cape.

I went and spoke with the manager, showing her a picture because she didn’t believe me and then we promptly packed up our room, in record time I might add, and left for greener pastures. The hotel we found let us check in before 10am and even offered us water and snacks, we knew this was going to work out much better. Not mention it had a water slide, they say it’s for kids but I think I’ll enjoy it plenty!

After getting settled in we drove over to the hospital to meet with Erin, our social worker we had been waiting not so patiently to meet. She was so sweet and really put our nerves at ease. She had a great meeting with the birth family, she said they raved about us, which was amazing to hear. We learned a great deal about the legal process that would take place and how all that would work out. We even signed the official communication plan for the adoption. Here I’ll explain the legal jargon the best I can.

LEGAL JARGON – Warning! I don’t know what I’m talking about, what you read can and will be loosely based on things I’ve seen on TV.

Communication Agreement – This is the legal minimum of communication required by us to the birth family. This includes letter and pictures throughout Brynlee’s life. Starting more frequent when she’s younger and then switching to a yearly update around her birthday, as well as the option for Brynlee to meet her birth family before she turns 18. These updates will be sent to the adoption agency and then they will forward them on to the birth family. Again, this is the bare minimum that we are required to do. We are facebook friends with the birth grandmother, and share emails and more by our choice, so there will be much more communication then just letters and pictures.

Legal Custody – This is where we had the most questions. The birth parents will sign papers on Thursday morning, then Friday we will take custody of Brynlee and sign our set of papers. Monday morning our case worker will head into court with papers signed and file with the state of Utah. Then we will wait here in Salt Lake until we have been released by the state to take Brynlee home. This time frame is hard to determine, but Erin said that the last family she worked with in Utah, left within 24 hours of their court date. So we are hoping for a quick turn around.

End of Legal Jargon.

Sitting with Erin we were thrilled to learn that the birth parents wanted to meet us. Originally we had been told that they didn’t want a face to face meeting, but now we were on cloud nine! Also there was a “open house” scheduled for family and church friends of the birth parents to come and meet Brynlee and say goodbye, and they wanted Brooke and I to be apart of that. So we made plans to be there that evening.

We had some time to kill that afternoon and just couldn’t sit in a hotel room, so we went to the outlet mall. Yes, food and shopping are our coping mechanism, don’t judge! We took a nice long drive up into the mountains and walked around for awhile just enjoying our very strange “Utah Vacation.”

That evening we made our way back to the hospital anxious and excited to meet with the birth parents. Erin our social worker was there with us to help with the “awkward moments,” which was great. When we first arrived we got to hold Brynlee for a few minutes while birth Mom and Dad got ready for us. After tearing ourselves away we headed into the hospital room to meet Mom and Dad face to face.

What a cool moment, and so very strange at the same time. My first thought was, “Wow, they are so young!” I knew their ages but it just blew my mind, I mean they are the age of my students in youth group. Birth Mom looked gorgeous, insanely nervous, but just glowing. Brooke and I are pretty good in uncomfortable situations, I mean we are Pastors so we are in those a lot, so we tried to calm her down and just be our goofy selves. They were both pretty quiet, so we did what we do so well and talked for them. Shared some more about who we are, asked them some questions, and laughed a lot. It was such a special moment, one that we will cherish and share with Brynlee many times I’m sure.

 

We said our goodbyes to them and headed out to the “open house” where there was tons of family and friends. We sat and talked with many and heard their side of this adoption journey, which was incredible to hear, and watched as these perfect strangers to us, loved on our beautiful daughter. Brynlee was wearing a onesie that simply said “Loved,” which was perfect for what was unfolding in front of our eyes. I watched as my daughter was passed around from person to person, tears flowed, and smiles came and went. Love filled that room, I was almost jealous of how much love this one child had. Not just in this room with family and friends here in Utah, but our friends and family all over the country have just poured so much love onto Brooke and I and this baby that they haven’t even meet yet. This child is loved beyond measure, lucky little girl.

One thing that just blew my mind that night, was the presence of God that I felt in the room. God’s love was being displayed right in front of my eyes. Only with God could this happen so beautifully. Only with God could two families be united in one soul purpose, to love this child with everything we have. There is no doubt in my mind that God has orchestrated this entire adoption to bring him glory. I remembered praying that morning, “God, bring yourself glory through this adoption. Cause people to find your love, through this miracle of adoption.” Then to watch it literally play out in front of me that night was incredible. I’m not sure how I didn’t cry the entire time.

We left that night after saying goodbye to Brynlee, filled with joy, but utterly exhausted emotionally. Even though we didn’t spend that much time holding Brynlee that night, just being in the same room with our daughter was just what we needed to make it through the next few days.

Words fail to define how this experience has already transformed the way I look at God and adoption. This has been such an eye opening journey, revealing to Brooke and I so much clearer the relationship that God has with us. What a beautiful adventure God has set before us, we are humbled at the hand of God on our lives, and excited for the future.