Where to start?

I am writing from our hotel room, where Brynlee is sleeping in her bassinet. (This was a feat in and of itself.) Ben is watching Love it or List It on HGTV, and I am attempting my first blog since Brynlee’s 24-7 presence in my life.

Friday was a great day. Was it easy? No. Was it necessary? Absolutely.

We arrived at the hospital around 9:45am. We came in with an empty carseat, diaper bag, and gifts for birth family. Ben went to get us coffee from the hospital cafeteria. We met Erin downstairs to sign the guardian paperwork. It was so unreal.

 

We went upstairs, but birth mom needed some more time to get ready for us. We sat in the upstairs lobby with Erin and talked about how much we’ve learned about God through adoption. Her brother was adopted from Vietnam and she shared her own experiences with adoption. I never realized how many people have been directly touched by adoption, and it continues to blow me away.

Once we went in the hospital room, we spent several hours with birth parents and birth grandma. They showed us all the gifts from Brynlee. Birth dad’s sister got her a “woofy,” a stuffed dog that is super cute and bigger than our real life dog. She also made several headbands, a stuffed owl that matches Brynlee’s room, and the pearl bracelets you see in so many pictures. Love how creative she is! Birth mom, dad, and grandparents also bought Bryn several outfits that are too cute for words. We will make sure to get pictures in each outfit to send to them. Birth mom learned to crochet once she became pregnant, and made Brynlee some booties and a blanket. Another special gift she will always treasure!

Ben and I presented the family with gifts, some gorgeous necklaces and dog tags that say “Forever in My Heart.” Brynlee has a matching bracelet for herself.

 

We took turns holding her, loving on her, and loving on each other. It was a holy moment, one which I will never forget. There were many tears. Tears of joy. Tears of grief. But ultimately tears that reminded us that God is in control, and we are all simply gaining more family members. See what adoption does? I am completely in awe.

I realize that everyone who is connected with adoption does not have the same story. In fact, you will rarely here the same story and process twice. I am also aware that some of you reading this haven’t received the same healing we have through this process. It is not my desire to speak for every adoption, only ours, so please hear my heart on this. I want to show those who are unfamiliar with or thinking about adoption what can happen if we are open to it.

Best part of the day: not the parenting training we did, not holding our baby girl. The best moment of the day for me was walking out of the hospital with birth family, watching mom place her daughter in our carseat, and being able to hug them, thank them, and promise them that we would take good care of their girl. Hey, I didn’t say the best part was also the easiest.

As we got into the car, Ben driving and me sitting in the back with Brynlee, I sensed the presence of God. What a gift we have been given!

My mom’s fantastic sister and friends threw her a surprise grandmother shower on Friday night! I have put a few pics in from that event.

 

Skip ahead…we have now completed two nights in a hotel with a newborn. Wasn’t my dream of the first few nights. Aside from being in a hotel (which no mom pictures), we had to get to know Bryn’s cries, noises, and needs. The first night was horrible. Tiny human did not want to sleep. I know from her cries that she was grieving. She was in a new place with new people. Where were mom and dad? I am also pretty positive that in her few days of life, she was never not being held. Anytime we put her in her bassinet, she freaked out. It was a long night of trial and error, holding, rocking, bouncing. Even in all of that, we were the most excited and in love parents in the world.

By last night, we had done some reading and research (thank you wikipedia ((just kidding)) and found some new techniques to try for sleeping and adjustment. Last night was actually really peaceful. Brynlee slept in her bassinet for an hour. She slept next to me for most of the night, and then on daddy’s tummy for the morning. We tried to feed her and change her before she woke up screaming so she could go back to sleep easier. God was gracious with us and granted us (and Brynlee) some much needed rest. She is happily napping in her bassinet right now, giving Ben and I some time to wash dishes, do laundry, and clean up our small living space.

I’ll close with this: I am not an outwardly emotional person. My friends placed bets on when I would first cry over this whole process. Aside from the momentary nervous breakdown in the previous hotel, I cried for the first time yesterday. I was reading the letters that birth mom and dad had written to Brynlee. The very first note mom wrote to baby ended with “you will forever be in my heart.” This is what we had inscribed on their necklaces. I broke down. The amount of love that came through those letters got really real to me in that moment. I imagined reading these to her as she gets older, and praying that she understands how much she is loved by all four of her parents.

The most precious gift to us, along with these letters, was a simple DVD. Birth mom’s favorite movie has always been Charlotte’s Web. Any time she was going through something, was sad, happy, lonely, or hurting, she watched this movie. The night before we took custody of Brynlee, they all watched Charlotte’s Web together in the hospital room. As we spent time together on Friday, they presented us with a copy of Charlotte’s Web for Brynlee. What a special gift that was!

 

If God lays it on your heart to give a gift to our sweet family, please prayerfully consider making a donation to help offset the cost of adoption. You can do it easily on the website.

Love,

Brooke